Know someone who is having a baby? Getting married?

So this came up this past weekend when chatting with some Friends over a few "cold ones".



I bet you have had friends, or relatives, that have gotten married, or had children, and along with that there has been some sort of shower, or open house. So, of course, the lovely couple/parents-to-be have to communicate what it is that they would like or need. That is where gift registries come in very handy.



At least in the hands of those that are not timid...

There is a certain etiquette when you are registering for gifts for these occasions. An etiquette that actually is less etiquette, and more like selfishness.



How many times have you gone and pulled up one these registries to find that, hmmmm, that's strange, they're having a baby and only want/needs this one three pack of pacifiers? How about only listing only a few "oneseys"? Or the best yet, and I have seen this myself, a registry with no diapers!



Bull shit (or in this case baby shit)! Seriously, unless you get laundry service, show me an infant that does not need diapers, and I will make you wealthy beyond your wildest dreams!



And, you, Mr. or Mrs. we only need 3 "binkies". Fuck that! Seriously, this is one time it is okay to tell people "You know what, we would be cool with you buying us a bunch of shit, even if the baby won't use it the moment he/she is born!", and you put 3... seriously?!?!?!



That reminds me, why do people only put shit for newborns their registry? I mean, within a few months, your child will, hopefully, need new shit. Also, there are any number of products that are for the parents, that would be perfectly natural to place on this "wish list". Why not point this out!



Which kind brings me to my last rant on the whole baby registry thing... my wife and I have been with a few couples when they are registering, and heard "No, we aren't going to put that on there, it's too expensive, and we don't think people will buy it." You ARE selling yourself short!



And actually, you may be offending people, and not even knowing it if you are telling people why you are not putting more expensive items on your list. My take it that you think your friends/family (which includes me) are too cheap OR would probably never think that you (or your unborn child) are worth it!

Also, you underestimate the power of the group... remember, there is always going to be a certain number of people that just "go in" with others (CODE WORD FOR: either just too lazy to shop themselves, or just forgot to get your gift in time; but that's another blog) that would be able to pool there funds and get said larger ticket items.


I'll grant you that some of the larger ticket items are those which you are very picky about, but the ones that are not, PUT THEM ON THERE!



So how about that couple that put on their wedding registry that they only needed enough place settings for two? Or the ones that just put goofy shit on their registry... you know, every item on their list is one that decorate that one room in their house where no one is ever going to hang out? Or the worst offender of all... the ones that register at only one place (this happens in the baby registry world too)!

Two places setting, eh? Laughing... I've seen it! Guess you will never be having guests over for a nice evening?

I guess I really don't have as much issue with the "knick knacks" for the single room, because, of course you do plan keeping that room the same way for a very long time, right? Although, I have now come to cross-roads, I guess you wanted this "stuff", so who am I to deny you of that?

Ah, but the best is yet to come... you see, from time to time there are people that only register at one store. These are usually the worst offenders of what I am going to call "Registry Dysfunction" (R.D. for short).

Typical symptoms for those affected usually include: limited number of items to choose from, poor price range, and not scanning items in enough departments (remember house-wares is only part of the store).

I guess what I am saying is that if you have ever shown any of the above signs of R.D. or you begin feel symptoms while registering for one life's joyous events, BE BOLD! This is the one time you can get away with basically saying "I would like a bunch of shit to help with my new child/our new marriage/etc.", and people won't think twice about it!

When you return the scanner back to the customer service counter it should either have:

a.) dead batteries, or
b.) a broken trigger from scanning so many things.

When your friends print your registry, the printer should run out of ink!

What is the worst that could happen? Someone might say "Man, you want/need a lot of shit!" And the alternative is "I had no idea what to get you, because your registry was picked over (so here is what I thought you would like)."

Trust me, the old add age is right: You don't get what you don't ask for!

3 binkies... Lord help me!!!

Until next time....